


Five Times You Meet A Skeleton (and his friends) At Work, And The One Time You’re Off The Clock

by BirdAndTheCage



Series: Skeleton Shenanigans [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: 5 + 1 Things, 5 Things, Agender Character, Freindship, Gen, Minor Canonical Character(s), Minor Original Character(s), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Reader Is Not Frisk, Reader has female parts, Reader is AFAB - Freeform, Reader is Agender, Reader is Aromantic, Reader-Insert, Strangers to Friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-10
Updated: 2016-06-20
Packaged: 2018-05-19 11:41:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5966112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BirdAndTheCage/pseuds/BirdAndTheCage
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A skeleton unwittingly shows up at your work whenever you're on shift. He and his friends grow on you. Like a colony of boisterous, friendly, caring fungus. <br/>---------<br/><i>You just wanted to flop down in a chair for half an hour and stuff your face with Mac and cheese. </i></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and welcome to my garbage! Feel free to visit any time you'd like. This is the second time I've taken a crack at a reader-insert fic and the first one that I'm actually serious about. I hope you like it!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit 6/11/16: Made a slight change to the timeline stated to make it more concrete and match with the rest of the fic.

The first time you meet him, you’re at work. You had just clocked out for your break and, arms cradling your food, you were walking as fast as you could to the back without actually running. You just wanted to flop down in a chair for half an hour and stuff your face with Mac and cheese. Things had been getting insane with the holidays (yes, you considered Halloween to be the start of the holiday season) coming up soon and, while that meant more hours and pay, that also meant dealing with people more. 

You had almost reached the door blissfully marked “Employees Only” when a deep voice called out and stopped you. You tried to smile, you really did, but you knew it probably looked more like baring your teeth in an act of aggression. Needless to say it didn't even reach your eyes to erase your perpetual “tired and pissed are character traits not emotions” look you had on the daily. 

“Can I help you?” you asked in the most annoyingly saccharine Customer Voice you could muster. You didn’t really hear what he said, if anything, because your mind went temporarily blank. There was a walking, talking, skeleton in your store. It's not like you were ignorant of the fact that monsters existed, they'd been around for a few years and all, it was just that most didn't come into your store. Most monsters didn’t have a need for a human Pharmacy or most of the overpriced seasonal knick-knacks that you sold. 

The skeleton somehow managed to give you an amused look. “go take your break, kiddo.”

You blinked at him, (them? Do skeletons even have genders?) unsure of how you felt about this whole situation - including being called “kiddo” by someone who was nearly the same height as you. The skeleton’s browbones raised. Finally gathering your brain together, you gave the skeleton a thankful smile before darting through the door. 

\-------  
Adding the note down here due to the First Chapter Note Glitch.  
I hope you liked it! Please let me know if I made any mistakes and what you think of it!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Reader meets Papyrus for the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more low-key ranting about my job. Wooo!

The second time, your weekly stock shipment had just come in and you were busy depositing the totes in their respective aisles. The act in and of itself wasn’t fun, but your co-workers were a riot and it was generally a fun time all around. Also it got you away from the front, so for all intents and purposes you loved sorting truck. Truck was, for all intents and purposes, your favourite god-damned thing.

 

The fact that customers always asked where product was located? Usually when you were holding a tote that weighed at least ten pounds?  Not your favourite thing. You’d gained some muscle over the years of carrying such things around weekly, but your arms were still pretty much noodles. It was often difficult to hold up ten-pound totes and talk to customers like you weren’t dying from carrying a hundred bottles of shampoo with your wimp muscles. You knew that you could just ask them to wait a second while you put the tote where it belonged. The majority of customers in your store were generally polite, but you were always paranoid that you would get that one person who would get offended. Anxiety was such a walk in the park.

 

“Hey kiddo,” someone called out. You would have sighed if you had the air. Instead you just pivoted on your heel, arms straining to keep the tote full of lotion and soap from falling to the ground.

 

“How can I help you?” you replied, hating how strained your voice sounded, as you turned.

 

Lo and behold, the skeleton from the other day was there. He was still wearing the same hoodie and gym shorts combo from last time, making you wonder about his wardrobe. Did he only own hoodies and gym shorts? He was standing next to a much taller skeleton, wearing jeans and a plaid shirt. You tried to keep your thoughts of  _ what the fuck no seriously what the FUCK is my life right nowwww _ off of your face. You weren’t too sure if you were successful, but at least you tried.

 

“Yes! I was wondering if you had any more spaghetti than what is currently present on the shelves!” The tall skeleton seemed to sound excited about every sentence that came out of his mouth. “I noticed that there are many blue boxes sitting around! Could any of them perhaps contain pasta?!”

 

You took a second to recall what your measly selection of noodles looked like today - you did work at a pharmacy and not a grocery store - before replying. “We probably do? All of these,” you gestured to the, still heavy, tote that was digging into the joints of your fingers with your head, “contain product that we need on the shelves. We won’t have everything up until tomorrow though. There is a grocery store a couple miles down the road though.” You weren’t too sure how the grocery store felt about monsters, but the taller skeleton just seemed so excited about pasta. You didn't have the heart to bring it up. Honestly, he was kind of adorable. He was practically bouncing on his heels.

 

“Oh thank you shop-human!” the taller skeleton said - or you guess it was his version of “saying” with his enthusiastic demeanor - before turning to the shorter skeleton. “Sans! We must go to the other store! Right now! We cannot allow this pasta shortage to go on any longer!”

 

“I’ll meet ya there bro,” Sans chuckled as he watched the tall skeleton run towards the doors. Said skeleton was laughing - cackling? - as he ran. It was more endearing than the jittery excitement had been. Jesus, that skeleton had been adorable. 

You looked at the smaller skeleton. The two of you stood in the aisle, a slight awkward silence engulfing the both of you.

“Sooo,” you trailed off, still aware of the heavy tote and praying that it wouldn’t slip through your fingers. “Can I help you?”

The short skeleton gave you an appraising look - something that still baffled you - before shaking his head. “nah kiddo. have a good one.”

“Uuuhhh. You too?” You blinked in confusion. You glanced longingly at the next aisle over - the home for the heavy-ass tote - and when you looked back in front of you, the skeleton ( _ Sans _ , you reminded yourself. He had a name, it should be used.) was gone.

“That’s… Um... Oh, fuck, I don’t get paid enough for this,” you grumbled as you legged it over to the aisle. You dropped the tote with a satisfying thud and rubbed your aching fingers.

Just another day in god-damn paradise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! If you wanna check out my [tumblr](anything--but--average.tumblr.com), you can. Be warned that I am very much a "post and reblog what I like" blog. I'll probably start a tag for this fic series though if anyone wants me to!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans comes in right before closing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yoou all are so nice. Thank you for the kudos and bookmarks!  
> Come visit me on my [tumblr](http://www.anything--but--average.tumblr.com) if you like!

The third time you meet Sans, You’re getting ready to close the store. You had just finished bringing down the window shutters when you heard the door open. 

“Welcome t-” You turned to see Sans with blue sweat dripping down his skull and a nervous furrow to his browbone.  “Are you okay?” 

“I need help. The kid is sick and I don’t know  _ shit _ about humans.” The little pinpricks that you guessed served as pupils darted around nervously. 

“Okay, no problem,” You say, keeping your voice even. You call out for your manager to watch the front and escort Sans to the cough and cold aisle. 

“What kind of symptoms does the kid have?” You ask, biting back your curiosity as to who this child actually was. Maybe a family friend? 

“They’re sweaty and shaking, but they say they feel cold. They’re bundled up in some blankets in the car with Paps. He’s better with the whole positive thing…” Sans trailed off.

“Alright, fever. Any coughing? Sneezing? Aches?” You asked him, trying your best to sound like you knew what you were talking about. Damn, you wished that the pharmacy was still open — you weren’t a doctor either!

“Some coughs but they’re not coughing anything up. They also threw up earlier but said they felt okay after.” Sans’ fingers — bone fingers? Finger bones? — twined together nervously. “Me and Pap were supposed to be watching them for Tori but she didn’t say that they were sick. They were fine this morning.”

“Okay, sounds like a bad cold to me,” you mumbled. At least it didn’t sound like the flu — thank god. “You’re gonna have to make them drink a lot of water. There isn’t really a medicine for colds since they mutate really fast and just have to be waited out.” you mumbled more to yourself than Sans.

“What can I do besides make them drink water then?” He asked as he followed you over to the thermometers. 

“Are they good at taking pills? Wait. How old is this kid?” You handed him a thermometer and motioned for him to follow you to the next aisle.

“Ten? I think?” he mumbled. 

You bite back your questions yet again and bend down to grab a box and a nearby bottle from the bottom shelf. “Make them drink this mixed in with the water. It’s Vitamin C. And this is Zinc.” You handed him the box and watched him stare at the three things in his hands.

“And this will make them better?” he asked you, pinpricks focused on you.

“It should help, but they might be down for a day depending on how bad their cold is,” you shrugged and led him back to the register. You slid behind the counter — wishing that there was a better place for your shopping carts than right next to the swing door to the counter — and unlocked the register with your fingerprint scan before ringing up the three items. 

“Alright and the total is $25.98,” You told him as you bagged his items.

He handed you a couple bills, a ten and a twenty, that you routinely checked with the counterfeit pen. You hardly looked at the golden lines on the bills as you tapped the $30.00 button on your till. You let out an “oof” as the drawer shot out and hit you in the stomach. You placed the bills in their respective holes before counting out his change. 

“One, two, three, four dollars and two cents is the change.” You placed the pennies on top of the bills and handed the change to Sans with one hand while shoving the receipt in the bag with your other. You closed the drawer with your hip. “I hope that… um… the kid feels better soon,” You tell Sans, hoping you sounded as heartfelt as you felt.

“Frist. Their name is Frisk. And thank you so much — you don't have a nametag on,” he shrugs helplessly and you can’t help but grin as you supply your preferred name. Your name tag had your birth name on it — a name that you hated for its femininity. So you had “lost” it a while ago. 

Sans smiled as he thanked you by your preferred name. Or at least you think he smiled. It was hard to tell, seeing as his skull was always smiling. “I guess this means I have to let you know how the kid recovers.”

“Well I’m pretty much always here at night except Mondays. Feel free to drop in?” You ask, unsure.

“Sounds good,” he called over his shoulder as he left. 

“See you soon!” You call after him, smiling as he waves to you through the door that you promptly lock behind him.

“So. You gonna bone the skeleton?” Your coworker, Zeke, snickers.

“Oh ha-ha. Funny. Very funny man. Till’s counted I just have to adjust from that last sale.”

“Neat. Do it so we can get the fuck outta here.”

“I’m on it,  _ sir _ .” You snickered as he immediately turned tail and headed back to the office.

“Save it for the skeleton, not me. Taken, remember?” 

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever dude,” You yelled and rolled your eyes.

But the thought didn’t leave you as you drive home, nor did it leave as you lied awake in bed, unable to fall asleep just like every other night. 

“Damnit Zeke.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enter: Frisk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are all amazing! Thank you for the comments and kudos! I'm glad you're enjoying my little pile of garbage <3  
> Feel free to check out my [tumblr](http://www.anything--but--average.tumblr.com) and ask me anything you like!

The fourth time you meet Sans at work, he has a kid with him. You deduced that this is probably the Frisk that he mentioned a few days ago. 

“Hey, this is Frisk.” Suspicions: Confirmed. 

“Hello,” you smiled as the kid. They waved and then signed something in sign language. You only know how to say “Thank you”, “what”, and “lazy”. A friend had tried to teach you, but those were the three that stuck. Well, that and some finger spelling. 

“I’m sorry, I don’t speak sign language very well. Or really at all,” you apologized to the kid. They simply smiled and tugged on Sans’ sleeve. They signed something that made the skeleton sigh. 

“Guess this means I get to translate,” Sans said, as if he was taking on a herculean feat.

“Poor you, having to do that for me,” you laughed. Remembering that yes, you were at work, you scanned the floor for customers. Empty. No one on the floor with you that you could see, no one at the counter nearby. You really hoped that that had nothing to do with Sans being in the store. 

You looked down at Frisk and caught the sign for “thank you” mixed in with others. You moved your gaze back to Sans expectantly. “They wanna thank you for helping me. And they say that they’re feeling much better.”

“You’re welcome,” you smile at Frisk. “I was just doing my job, there’s really no need to thank me. But I’m glad you did!” It always warmed your heart when customers came back better than when they left. Some days you wondered how you had it in you to care so much, but it never failed to make your day to have customers genuinely thank you. 

“Woah kid, that’s a bit of a harsh way to put it,” Sans nearly spluttered after Frisk finished signing their reply.

“Harsh way to put what?” You asked, reflexively signing “what” when you said it.

Frisk jumped up and down and unleashed a flurry of signs and you couldn’t help but laugh at their excitement. The heard and made a bashful face, circling their fist on their chest.

“You don’t need to apologize kiddo. They probably just think that you’re cute.”

Frisk crossed their arms and pouted. Apparently they didn’t take too well to being called cute, no matter how true it was. They made a series of petulant signs.

“Yeah, yeah, you’re not cute, you’re intimidating as heck, kiddo,” Sans said in mock seriousness. 

“Very intimidating,” you nodded seriously. 

You cringed as you heard you manager call your birth name. It was Zeke, and he was usually chill, but you didn’t really know where he stood on monsters. 

“Excuse me for a moment. Feel free to browse,” you told the two of them as you headed back behind the register counter. “What’s up?” You asked Zeke.

“So why is your bone-friend carting around a kid?” To the point. Well, that was Zeke for you.

“He babysits them I think. When he was in the other night, he was getting medicine for them. Frisk, that’s the kid’s name, wanted to thank me in person,” you smiled softly, making a point to ignore his comments about Sans. 

“My question from that night still stands,” he smirked and nudged you with his elbow. 

“Look, just because we’re not hooking up doesn’t mean that you have to try to set me up with someone else,” you rolled your eyes. 

“What? He’s interested! He’s like, always in here,” Zeke insisted.

“He’s been in here, like, three times!” You can’t believe him. Just because you have a new seemingly regular customer doesn’t mean that he has some kind of crush on you. “Besides, you know it wouldn’t work out.” 

“If you say so. You still taking your break at six-thirty?” And like that, he goes from annoying friend to slightly less annoying manager. 

“Yep,” you reply, popping the “p” sound. 

“Cool. Just don’t get too preoccupied talking to the skeleton and the kid, you still have a job to do while you’re here.” He hesitates for a second, eyes raking over your body, before he slaps you on the back twice and subsequently wanders off towards the office. 

You let out a wordless groan and scrub your hand over your face. Some lessons, like “don’t sleep with coworkers who have paramours in other states, it makes work life kind of really awkward”, you just  _ had _ to learn the hard way. 

“You doin' okay there?” You started when you heard Sans speak. He and Frisk had wandered over from the seasonal aisle. Even though it was early August, you already had the Halloween displays and product out. Frisk was holding a bag of candy corn and bounding excitedly. You doubted that they needed more sugar, but that was the job for their parents, not you.

“Yeah. My manager is… an interesting guy. He doesn’t have issues with you being here, he just wants to make sure that I’m not distracted,” you give a shrug as you scan the bag. “You wanna sign up for a card?”

“Sure,” Sans shrugs. 

You nod and grabbed a new card from the stack wedged between your register’s monitor and the receipt printer. You scanned it and hit the correct button in order to proceed. “Alright, first name you’d like on the card?”

“Sans,” he supplied, voice coloured with amusement. 

You resisted the urge to make a childish noise in response and instead replied with, “And the last name?”

“Skeleton.”

You blinked in no small amount of confusion, but typed it in none the less. And the inventory continued, phone number, email, zip code, birth date. 

“Hope you don’t need my blood type, cause I don’t have any blood,” he joked as he finished up setting up a pin for his account.

“Oh darn, looks like you won’t be able to get a card then,” you replied, shrugging dramatically. You saw Frisk hide a giggle behind their hands. “And terms and conditions page.”

Sans tapped the “Agree” button on the screen with his finger — you had to resist asking how he was able to do that when he had to skin for the pin-pad to register — and you waited for your register to catch up. 

“Awesome, that painful process is done!” you smiled and told him the total. He handed you a twenty out of an electric blue wallet. You checked the bill lazily and was about to put the amount into the register when Sans called you by your preferred name.

“The kid wants to know what the marker does,” he answered your question before you could ask it. “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want.”

“No, it’s totally fine,” You assured the two of them. “It’s actually pretty cool.” You grabbed Sans’ twenty and fed some blank receipt paper through your machine. “On good money it stays gold, like this,” you said as you drew a mustache on Jackson’s face, causing Frisk to giggle. “But, on bad bills it turns this gross brown colour,” you said and then scribbled on the receipt paper. The resulting mark was a dark brown. “Make sense?” 

Frisk nodded and signed a “thank you” You smiled at them, they were the cutest kid you’d ever seen. 

You tapped the $20 button on your screen and counted out change for Sans. You could see Frisk signing out of the corner of your eye and Sans signing back. “Would you like the receipt?”

“Sure,” Sans shrugged. 

You circled the customer survey information before handing it to him. “Have a good day,” you smiled at the two. 

“You too. Let’s get you back to your mom, kiddo.” 

You watched the two as they left with a fond smiled on your face. If only all of your customers were that easy to get along with and help. 

You thought nothing of the exchange, not knowing that you’d receive a stellar customer review the next day.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sans totally isn't a bit of a stalker

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What is this? An update a day after I updated? Whaaaaat??   
> It's all for you guys <3  
> Feel free to check out my [tumblr](http://anything--but--average.tumblr.com) and ask me anything you like!

The fifth time you meet Sans, you’re not technically on the clock, but you’re still at work. Or, rather, near work. 

You had just clocked out and were walking to your car. You saw him standing out in the parking lot before he saw you. He was standing by a red convertible.

“Hey Sans!” You called and walked over. “Fancy seeing you here,” you laughed.

“Yeah, fancy seeing me here,” he grinned. “You really made an impression on the kid yesterday.”

“Really?” You felt emotion well up in you. Frisk was such a cute kid, you were glad that you made them happy. “That’s awesome! Oh, I saw your survey by the way.”

“Really? What did you think?”

“I think that’s the best survey I’ve ever gotten. My store manager was over the moon,” you laughed.

“I only told the truth,” Sans shrugged. You thought you saw a bit of blue dusting his cheekbones, but it was gone before you could confirm any magic blushing. 

“Yeah, in literally the most flattering way to a manager ever. ‘Showed me exactly where product was located’ scored major points with the management.”

“I don’t get it, kiddo, that’s what you did,” Sans insisted.

“Sorry, let me explain. Most customers only say ‘showed me to product’ or ‘told me where product was’. That doesn’t imply as much care as what you said,” you shrugged. “Usually people who worked customer service jobs write better surveys.” You looked him up and down, taking in that ever-present blue jacket and his unseasonable basketball shorts. 

“Well, I worked a few jobs in the Underground. Mostly food stands.” You can tell he isn’t here to talk about his employment, but you go with the train of conversation regardless. You don’t want to make things weirder than they already were. 

“Oh? What do you do now, then? More food stands?” you asked, shifting your weight from foot to foot. It wasn’t out of impatience, your feet just really hurt after your eight-hour shift.

“Actually I’m going to college when the spring semester starts up. Getting a degree is gonna be so much effort, but science is a cool thing.” he shrugs.

You stared at him, mouth agape. That wasn’t what you expected to hear. Honestly, you weren’t sure what you did expect, but it wasn’t that the short skeleton thinks science is cool.  Eventually you closed your mouth and found a suitable question. “Where are you planning on going? There aren’t that many good science colleges around here.” 

“Community college,” he shrugged. “ ‘S cheaper and gotta get the general stuff out of the way anyway.  What about you? What do you do besides this?”

You blink at him, not understanding his sudden interest in your life. “Um. I go to the community college. I took a couple years’ break because of… life… But I’m planning on graduating in about a year and a half if I take a full credit load each semester.” You hope he doesn’t ask for more information on why you took a break. 

“What’s your major gonna be?” He asks, much to your relief. 

“Probably just general studies. I don’t really know what I wanna do.”

The two of you talked about college for a while. You found Sans to be very easy to talk to after the initial awkwardness faded. The two of you talked and laughed like old friends that hadn’t seen each other in a while. Eventually though, your stomach let out a rumble of complaint.

“Oh shit, I need to go home and make dinner. Hopefully my roommate isn’t freaking out too hard… Usually I’m not late from work. I’m so sorry. I’m sure I’ll catch you again?” You look at Sans hopefully.

“Actually, before you go, I wanted to ask you something.” The magic blue blush was back, but it was faint.

“Sure, shoot,” You shrugged.

“Did you wanna hang out when you’re not at work? I don’t wanna overstep any boundaries but Paps wants to see you again. And so does Frisk. And thanks to the two of them, the rest of my friends want to meet you.” He shrugged, looking faintly uncomfortable.

“Sure! Here, I’ll give you my number and I’ll let you know when I’m free. I work a lot, as you probably gathered, but I can always put in off. Just let me know!” Okay, maybe you were a little too excited but the only real friend you had was your roommate. They were a fantastic person, but you needed other people to talk to sometimes. Unfortunately, you didn’t make friends easily with other people.

“O-oh.” Huh, apparently you had surprised Sans with your enthusiasm. He grabbed his phone out of his jacket and tapped it a few times before handing it to you. You typed in your preferred name and phone number. Then, you sent yourself a text.

“Really? That’s what you send yourself?” he laughed. 

“What?” you asked innocently as you opened a new text that read “SPOOKY SCARY SKELETON” from an unknown number. This became the unknown number’s contact name. 

“Nothing.” You looked up to see Sans shaking his head at you. “Get home before you starve to the  _ bone. _ ”

“You did not just make a bone pun, skeleton man.” You blinked in… you weren't sure if you were feeling more (fake) anger or admiration. 

“What? You don’t find me  _ humerus _ ?” 

“I’m leaving,” you groaned and walked over to your car. You turned your head back to Sans in time to see him open his mouth again. “Do not. I don’t have any good skeleton-related puns to come back with.”

“You need me  _ tibia _ tutor in that subject?”

“No. I don’t need a tutor in skeleton puns. Math? Yes. Puns? No.” You narrowed your eyes and glared at the skeleton. You were amused and you hated it. 

“Go home Kiddo. I’ll text you later.”

“Alright. Drive safely!” you waved, like the puns never happened, and unlocked your car. 

You sat in your car for a while, texting your roommate about what had just happened. They were just as confused as you, but sad that you couldn't turn the one-sided puns into an all out war. You sent them a message that you were actually going to leave now and headed home.

Your roommate was waiting by your parking spot for you when you got home. “Soooo are you gonna try to bo-”

“Zeke used that one, like, a week ago. Get a new pun, Alex.” You rolled your eyes at your roommate. 

“Whatever,” Alex yawned, scrubbing their hands over their face. “I’m going to bed. This doesn’t excuse you from interrogation.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” you said, rolling your eyes. Alex was all about gossip and would probably ask if you wanted to date Sans. You didn’t think you would, but you knew that you at least wanted to be friends with the funny skeleton.

“Night,” Alex mumbled as they shuffled off to their room.

“Night, sleep well,” you called after them. 

You headed off to bed as well, wanting nothing more than the lay down and sleep after a long day. You changed into your pajamas and brushed your teeth before flopping face-first onto your bed. You plugged your phone, set on silent so you could sleep without interruptions, in so it could charge and got comfortable. Eventually you fell into a dreamless sleep, something rare for you.

Little did you know that you’d wake up to a text from a certain skeleton that you missed, wishing you a good night. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lots of things happen, not all of them good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter! Thanks for everyone who's supported me as I stumbled though this!  
> I can't believe this chapter is 4k words...  
> Feel free to check out my [tumblr](anything--but--average.tumblr.com) and ask me anything you like!

“Seriously Alex, it’s dinner with his brother and friends, not a date. I don’t need to wear anything fancy,” you grumbled as you stepped out of the bathroom.

“Yeah, but you wanna make a good impression,” Alex said, tucking their dyed-blue hair behind their ear. Their grey eyes appraised your outfit: dark wash jeans and red button-down shirt. And your binder, of course. The only time you didn’t wear it was at work and if you went for a walk outside. You thought the outfit was fine, but your roommate had other ideas. 

“I’m not wearing a suit to meet Sans’ brother and friends,” you said, adamant in your decision.

“At least wear your black peacoat then. It’s getting colder out now that the sun’s going down. It’ll look nice with your shirt,” Alex insisted.

“I don’t wanna,” you groaned and walked over to the door. Alex was right, the weather had been unseasonably cold for some ungodly reason, but that didn’t mean that you wanted to wear a heavy wool jacket. “I should be fine without one.”

“Fine then, die of hypothermia.”

You sighed and walked back into the hall. You threw open the door to the closet and grabbed your coat before shrugging it on. “There. Happy?”

“Very.”

You rolled your eyes and bid your roommate goodbye before stepping out of the apartment. It wasn’t too cold, but in the end you were thankful that Alex had pushed for the jacket. You were walking to Sans’ and Papyrus’ house since it was only a few minutes away on foot. 

Eventually you reached the house. It had some Christmas lights already up, four months early, but it wasn’t anything too obnoxious. The electronic candles in the windows gave the place a welcoming vibe.

You knocked on the door. It opened to reveal a certain short skeleton.

The sixth time you meet Sans, it’s at his house. 

“Hey, um…” you trailed off, feeling slightly out of place. “I’m here.”

“You are,” he responded, bouncing from foot to foot minutely. You swept your eyes over him and noticed that he was wearing jeans and a blue button down instead of the ensemble that you’d gotten used to seeing him in. It looked good on him, although you refused to let yourself wonder how he managed to look big-boned when he was just bones. Oh, that was a good pun, you’d have to save that one for later. 

“Can I come in?” You asked after a beat of slightly awkward silence. 

“O-oh. Right. Yeah. Come on in. I can take your coat,” Sans waved you in, obviously trying to play it cool after his slight social blunder. You could see that his body language (skeleton language?) was tense and uncomfortable — not that yours was probably any different. You guessed that he didn’t talk to newer people that often. You knew for a fact that you didn’t. 

You walked into the house, noting how warm it felt, not just in temperature but in and of itself. It was a nice, homey feeling that you felt throughout your body that only intensified as you took in the muffled sound of conversation. And, of course, the pictures scattered around on the walls made you smile. Most of them featured Papyrus heavily. Papyrus with a blue, fish-looking monster woman. Papyrus in a “kiss the cook” apron grilling something outside. Papyrus with Frisk on his shoulders, the both of them looking excited. Papyrus and a bunch of dog monsters… Yes, there were countless pictures of Papyrus, but none of Sans. You were tempted to ask Sans if he took all of the pictures — they looked really well done after all — but he seemed preoccupied with hanging up your coat in a hall closet. 

Sans guided you silently through the house and into a room where all of the chatter was coming from. You spotted Papyrus right away, as he was hard to miss. He was talking loudly to the blue fish-woman from the pictures in the foyer. Frisk caught sight of you and waved excitedly. You waved back before hesitantly signing “hello”. You’d googled some useful expressions and had been practicing. Judging by Frisk’s smile, you had done just fine. 

“SHOP HUMAN!” Papyrus screeched as soon as he saw you, causing you to flinch slightly at the sudden, loud attack on your ears. You had forgotten just how loud he was. 

“Papyrus!” You responded, trying to match his enthusiasm somewhat. “It’s good to see you again!”

“So this is the human that you dorks won’t shut up about,” the fish-woman said as she gave you an appraising stare with her one eye. You hadn’t really taken note of it on first sight due to her being angled away from you, but she had an eyepatch over her left eye. That combined with her athletic body made you want to shrink down into a small puddle of intimidated human. “They don’t look that impressive to me.”

“U-Undyne, that’s rude,” a small, yellow, dinosaur-looking monster chastised the fish-woman — Undyne. The two were sitting next to each other at the round table in the dining room.

You gave the two of them a smile and introduced yourself. “It’s nice to meet the both of you.”

“I-I’m Alphys and this is Undyne,” the small — Alphys, you mentally corrected yourself — introduced the two of them. “I-It’s nice to meet y-you as well.”

“I HOPE THAT YOU LIKE SPAGHETTI! BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT WE ARE HAVING!” Papyrus said. 

“I haven’t had spaghetti in forever,” you said, nearly swooning at the thought of some sort of pasta that wasn’t from a can. 

“WHAT?” Papyrus screeched, and you jumped a little bit again. This would take some getting used to, but you knew it would probably be worth it. At the point you had realized that Papyrus was just a loud person in general. “HOW CAN YOU LIVE WITHOUT SPAGHETTI?!”

“I have no clue,” you laughed, hoping that you didn’t come off as rude. 

Papyrus immediately ran back to the kitchen, making a series of concerned-sounding “nyeh” noises. “SHOP HUMAN! THE GREAT PAPYRUS SHALL REMEDY THIS TRAGEDY AT ONCE! SIT DOWN!” He yelled from the kitchen. 

You looked back to the circular table, wondering where you should sit. Frisk grabbed your attention and pointed to the seat next to them. Smiling and signing a “thank you” you walked over and sat down. You looked back up to where you had been standing with Sans to see that he had disappeared. In fact, you noticed as you scanned the room, he was completely absent. Maybe he had snuck off to help Papyrus in the kitchen while your attention was elsewhere. Your seat put you beside Alphys, with one seat separating the two of you. The other empty seat was between Frisk and Undyne. 

“Sooo…” you trailed off, not too sure how to start a conversation. “What do you two do?”

“I work at the gym in town,” Undyne gave you a smile — oh wow her teeth were pointy — and crossed her arms in pride. “I’m training to be a manager.”

“That’s super cool!” you enthused, slightly envious. You’d been at your job for going on three years and were consistently passed up for a manager position. 

“A-and I’m teaching at the community college. I-I’m working on getting my d-degree in Biochemistry from the nearby university so I can hopefully teach there one day,” Alphys said, twiddling her fingers. 

“Well that puts my intended English Major to shame,” you joked. 

The scales on Alphys’ face turned red. “N-No! Don’t think like that! E-English is just as i-important as Biochem!”

“Yeah, someone needs to proofread all of those lab reports,” Undyne snorted as she grabbed one of Alphys’ hands. Oh. Were they a thing? “Everyone’s major is important, blah, blah, blah.”

Frisk signed something, apparently not wanted to feel left out. You looked over at Undyne and Alphys, hoping that one of them would translate. 

“Kid goes to the elementary school in town.”

“Jesus!” you gasped as you jumped, clutching your chest in shock. “Way to give me a heart attack,” you grumbled as you turned your head to look behind you. Lo and behold, Sans was standing there with a shit-eating grin. 

“Sorry, didn’t mean to make you jump outta your  _ skin _ ,” Sans said as he plopped down into the chair between you and Alphys. 

More puns. You had prepared this time though. You had time to google and premeditate on many, many,  _ many _ horrible bone-related puns. You did the mental equivalent of cracking your knuckles and you turned to face sans.

“Oh, no, it’s fine!” You smiled. “You didn’t  _ rattle my bones _ too much there.”

Sans let out a choked laugh and you saw his shoulders shaking. 

“I’m sorry, did I hit your  _ funny bone _ ?” Your smile was positively wolfish now.

“Didn’t think you’d prepare a skele _ ton _ of puns just for me,” Sans said, having recovered quickly. 

Before you could respond, you heard a shriek from the kitchen. “BROTHER! DON’T DRIVE AWAY OUR GUEST WITH YOUR HORRIBLE PUNS!”

You glanced sideways to look at Sans, only to see that he was looking at you in the exact same way. 

A second passed. 

Two.

The two of you bursted out laughing in unison. 

“Gee,” you wheezed, “I didn’t know skeleton puns got  _ under his skin _ so much.”

“Yeah,” Sans drawled loud enough for Papyrus to hear in the kitchen. “He doesn’t really find them  _ humerus _ .”

A loud shriek of Sans’ name came from the kitchen yet again, causing the entire table to burst out into laughter this time. “OH MY GOD SANS STOP. YOU’RE RUINING MY APPETITE.”

“Okay bro, okay,” Sans laughed. “I’m stopping.”

“GOOD.” Papyrus said as he walked out of the kitchen, carrying a large, stainless steel pot. 

“Hey Sans,” you prompt innocently, “Is that a…  _ bone _ afide promise?”

Papyrus let out an intelligible shriek and slammed the pot down on the table. You couldn’t help but flinch at the action. Had you gone too far? Oh god, where you in trouble? Was he going to yell? You didn’t mean to make him angry. You were just messing around with Sans. You hadn't done anything wrong. Right? Right. Yeah. 

You felt your entire body tense as you clenched your fists, digging your nails into the palms of your hands. The stinging sensation usually grounded you, but not this time. You could feel yourself starting to float out and away from your body. You tried your hardest to stay in the present, in the moment, but the perceived threat of Papyrus’ anger — real or imagined — was too much for your brain.

“I’m sorry,” you blurted out before Papyrus could speak. “I didn’t mean to upset you. I was just messing around and I took it too far; I’m sorry.” You didn’t pause for breath once during your apology.

You heard Sans calling your name. You looked over at him and saw his eye sockets widen. What did he see, you wondered, that garnered that reaction? Was the panic so clearly in your eyes? Were they as unfocused as you felt? 

“Hey, you don’t need to keep apologizing,” he said, smiling at you in a reassuring manner. Oh. You hadn't realized that the mental string of  _ I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry  _ had been coming out of your mouth too. “Paps isn't angry. No one’s angry at you.”

“I…” you trailed off, body starting to shake as your eyes darted around the table to take in any threats. Undyne: concerned looking. Holding the hand of Alphys: had a concerned frown on while signing to Frisk: had a hand halfway extended towards you but seemed to think better about touching you. Okay. Okay they weren’t mad. Your thoughts started to clear minutely from the jumble they had been. Sans: had tried to calm you down. Looked worried. And then just left.

“I apologize for scaring you.” Papyrus. He was quieter now. Still loud, but he just had a voice that carried well. “I am not angry with you, you are a good person who likes spaghetti and gets along with my brother and my friends.”

“Are you sure?” God, your voice was so, so small. But you weren’t shaking any more and you felt mostly back in your body. You unclenched your fists, hissing at the stinging that was no longer comforting. 

“Yes. The Great Papyrus is always sure of his decisions. Now. Let’s have dinner!” 

And, just like that, everyone started dishing out spaghetti like nothing happened. Papyrus ran back into the kitchen to get the sauce and garlic bread, voice still not as loud as it was before. It reminded you more of how he spoke when you first met him, only he wasn’t as excited. He was trying to be quiet for your sake. 

“Sorry about that,” you mumbled to Sans. “I know you probably wanted me to make a better impression on your friends.”

“Hey!” Undyne barked, having heard you. “No more apologizing for things you can’t control!”

“Y-Yeah. I-I mean I do it too s-so maybe I’m not the best person to say it…” Alphys trailed off. Oh. Oh! Did she have anxiety too? You knew it would be rude to ask, but it made sense with how she conducted herself.

“Yeah, kiddo. ‘S the past now. Can’t change it.” You turned to look at Sans again. 

You opened your mouth to speak when Papyrus came back in the kitchen with a saucepan full of sauce in one hand, garlic bread on the other, and a glass of ice water balanced on his head. Skillfully, he sat down the two food items before placing the glass in front of you. 

“Thank you,” you smiled at him as he took the last seat, between Frisk and Undyne. 

“You are Quite Welcome!” he exclaimed, trying his best to keep his voice down but not succeeding as well as he had before.

“You don’t need to keep your voice down on my account. I should get used to it if we’re gonna hang out more. I mean, that’s assuming you’d want to hang out with me again?”

Papyrus screeched your name joyfully, back at full volume. You only flinched a little, having expected it. “YES! THE GREAT PAPYRUS WOULD THOROUGHLY ENJOY HANGING OUT AND TALKING ABOUT SPAGHETTI AND EVEN PASTA IN GENERAL WITH YOU EVEN IF YOU, LIKE MY BROTHER, ENJOY THOSE ATROCIOUS PUNS!”

“Aw, you love ‘em Paps,” Sans smirked. 

“I DO AND I HATE IT.”

You, along with the rest of the table, laughed at Papyrus’ declaration.

The rest of dinner went smoothly. Papyrus was over the moon when you told him, truthfully, that his spaghetti was the best that you’d ever had. Sans and Alphys talked a little bit about science things that you didn’t quite follow, but surmised that their debate was a long-standing one. Undyne even invited you to come to her gym one day so she could “make you less of a twig, you runt! Look at those arms! I could break them in half with my pinky!” Frisk peppered you with questions every so often about random things, mostly what you thought about certain cartoons or characters from movies that they were fond of. All in all, it easily topped your list for “Best Night Ever”. 

“Well,” you yawned. “I should head home. It’s getting late and I have to work tomorrow morning.”

You signed “Goodbye” to Frisk and they signed it sleepily back to you. 

“Hey. Come here punk.” You walked over to Undyne cautiously, wondering what she wanted. All she wanted, you learned very quickly, was to give you a bone-crushing hug. 

“Undyne,” you wheezed. “Air. Please.” 

“Oh,” you felt her shrug as she released you. “Sorry nerd. But seriously, come by the gym and I’ll help you work out.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” you laughed as you rubbed your spine, which had cracked viciously during the hug.

“H-Hopefully I’ll see you at the college?” Alphys asked.

“Yeah, totally! And we can hang out before then too. I haven’t had a lot of time to watch anime and there’s a few I want to catch up on,” you smiled.

“T-that sounds great!”

Papyrus swooped in to give you another back-cracking hug, lifting you off of the ground and swinging you slightly. It wasn’t uncomfortable per se, but the feeling of ribs against your face wasn’t exactly pleasant. You guessed that Papyrus’ hugs, like his voice, took some getting used to. 

“FEEL FREE TO VISIT ANY TIME AND EAT SPAGHETTI WITH ME! ALSO I PACKED UP ALL OF THE LEFTOVERS FOR YOU!” Papyrus, beaming, handed you a large tupperware container full of spaghetti with what you suspected was garlic bread wrapped in tin foil on top. 

“Aw Papyrus,” you sighed, “You didn’t have to do this for me.”

“NONSENSE! IT WOULDN’T FIT NEXT TO THE OTHER SPAGHETTI LEFTOVERS IN THE REFRIGERATOR ANYWAY. ALSO YOU LIKE IT, SO TAKE IT!”

You willed yourself not to tear up when you looked at the still beaming skeleton. “Thank you so much. I’ll make sure to return your container when I’m finished.” 

“NYEH! AND THEN WE CAN HANG OUT AGAIN?!” Papyrus asked, a hopeful look in his eyes.

“Yes. And then we can hang out again.”  _ Hopefully with less panic attacks _ , you added mentally.

Papyrus shrieked in wordless joy. 

“Well I’m only a few blocks away but I should get going before it gets much later. Hey Sans, could you grab my coat? I don’t remember exactly where you put it.” You turned to face the short skeleton to see that he already had your coat in his hands. “Oh.”

He helped you into your coat while you clumsily juggled the tupperware between hands. “Thank you.”

“Let me walk you home. This isn’t the best part of town.” 

Sans’ statement threw you for a loop. You hadn’t expected this. While his company wouldn’t be unwelcome… “Wouldn’t it be more dangerous for you to walk home alone?” 

“Nah. I get places fast when I wanna.” 

“I mean… If you say so…” 

And so, the two of you set off on the three-minute walk to your apartment building. 

“Sooo…” you trailed off to fill the silence.

“Sooo…” Sans mocked you.

A few seconds of silence passed.

“Sorry again. About the beginning of the night. I just… loud noises and loud voices don’t do me any favours, you know?” You laughed uncomfortably.

“Hey, ‘S no sweat. Everyone understood that you weren’t havin a good time and tried to make it better.” He paused for a moment and the both of your footsteps filled the silence. “Did you have a good time? After that?”

“Yeah, I did. Easily one of the best nights I’ve had in a long time,” you smiled, a bittersweet feeling rising in your chest. The last time you had felt comfortable around that many people was ages ago. 

“Good.”

“Yep.”

More silence, but it wasn’t exactly awkward. Then again, it wasn’t wholly comfortable either.

“Well. This is my stop.” You said as you walked up to your building. 

“Maybe we-”

“I hope that-”

The two of you started talking the same time.

“You go first,” Sans nodded.

“I hope that we can do this again. Maybe with less panic attacks?” You laughed slightly.

“Yeah. Yeah of course. Any time you wanna come over jus’ let me know.” Sans smiled. “You really hit it off with Undyne and Alphys. And Paps an’ Frisk adore you.”

“And what about you?” The question was out of your mouth before you could stop it.

“Fishing for compliments?” he asked.

“Only if you don’t give me  _ carp _ about it,” you grinned. Okay, you could dish out a few fish puns.

“Nice one, I’m gonna have a  _ halibut _ time topping that.”

“Oh  _ reely _ now? Are you  _ shore? _ ” You laughed before shaking your head. “Seriously though, I should go in and go to bed. Early shift is early.”

“Alright. Sleep well,” Sans said, hands going for jacket pockets that weren’t there.

“I’ll do my best. You let me know when you get home safely, okay?” 

“K.”

Yes, you could tell that he verbally responded with just the one letter. You  _ had _ been texting him for a bit. 

You walked up the stairs to the door of your building, key in hand. You turned back to make sure that Sans would really be okay with walking home alone, only to be met with an empty street. 

“Huh,” you said as your eyes roamed over the empty street. “Guess he really can move fast.”

Soon after that, you were stowing your coat back in your hall closet, Alex pestering you about your night. You brushed them off, citing work as an excuse to go to bed early. 

“Fine,” they huffed, crossing their arms over their chest. “But you’re gonna tell me all about it when you get off your shift tomorrow.”

“Fiiiine,” you sighed, only half faking the exasperation in your voice. 

“Sleep well,” Alex bid you goodnight.

“See you in the morning,” you mumbled as you walked into your room. 

You shrugged off your shirt as you texted Sans.

**To Spooky Scary Skeleton:** You get home alright?

You set your phone down as you shucked off your pants, turning up the volume up so you could hear when he responded. Sure enough, but the time you had shucked off your binder as well, your phone let out a series of airhorn noises.

**From Spooky Scary Skeleton:** yep. got home fine.

You texted him back as you tugged on your flannel pajama pants.

**To Spooky Scary Skeleton:** That’s good. 

**From Spooky Scary Skeleton:** yep

You crawled into your bed and curled up on your side with your phone cradled in your hands. This had become a common occurrence, texting Sans until you fell asleep.

**To Spooky Scary Skeleton:** Well, finally in bed. Not tired yet though, of course.

The two of you texted back and forth until your eyelids felt too heavy to open again. You typed out a message to Sans that was supposed to say “I’m sleeping now.” but ended up reading “in skrrpinf now”

The next morning, you cringed at your horrible typos but smiled at Sans’ simple response of “night” God, he was a great friend to put up with your sleep-deprived typos.

After a quick shower, you tugged on your death pants — sorry, khakis — and slipped on your polo shirt. You shoved your name tag in your pocket, not that you were going to wear it very long. You were constantly “forgetting” to put it on after clocking in and coming back from break. That's what happened with things that had your birth name on them. You made a quick stop in your room to take your morning medicines, and you were ready to go.

“I’m heading to work now,” you called through the apartment as you slipped on your work shoes. You heard a vague grumble from the kitchen. 

“See you around five,” you shouted as you closed the door behind you. 

A short walk later, and you were knocking on the door to be let in. 

“Sup?” Zeke greeted.

“Early,” you grumbled and you made your way over to the coolers. You grabbed a coke and plodded over to the register. 

“See someone woke up late again.” Zeke grinned, far too chipper for eight AM. It was at your expense, you knew this. Yous till hated it though. Couldn’t he wait for the sweet, sweet carbonated caffeine bliss to be running through you?

“Slept like shit,” you sighed as you held up your associate card for your discount. 

“You should talk to a doctor about that, y’know. How long does it take you to fall asleep?” Zeke asked, taking in the massive bags under your eyes.

“Hooooours,” you groaned and you slipped behind him to get behind the counter. You clocked in and prayed that your shift would go by quickly. 

“Seriously, you don’t look good,” Zeke said, a few hours later when he came to pick up money from your till.

“Thanks,” you drawled after you took a swig of your now-warm coke. 

“Still gonna break at twelve-thirty?”

“Yep.” 

Around noon, you heard a crowd of people come in the door. You looked up to see everyone from last night, even Frisk, chatting and looking around. The few customers that you could see that were milling around the store looked at them questioningly, but didn’t do anything past that. You were glad. 

“Hey guys!” you greeted them. 

They all greeted you and made a beeline for the seasonal aisle, Frisk signing excitedly the entire way. You watched fondly as Papyrus freaked out over the skeleton decorations, and as Undyne challenged Frisk to a sword fight with the fake pirate swords you had. Of course, Sans and Alphys stood by watching but not intervening. 

“Tell your new friends to stop making a mess. You know you’re gonna have to face that entire aisle for this, right?” Zeke laughed as he walked up to you.

“Are there any customers in the store?” You asked, having rung up a few customers since your friends came in. 

“Nope, just them.”

“Sweet.” You grabbed the intercom and pressed the button. You walked over to where you could see them in the aisle. “Would the  _ lovely patrons _ in aisle four please stop making such a mess? I have to clean that up later.”

Papyrus yelled your name in confusion. “ARE YOU THE SHOP NOW?!”

You laughed as you watched Frisk sign something to Papyrus, and Sans explain the Papyrus that they weren’t standing in you. Undyne still had a fake sword in her hand and was twirling it around idly. 

This was your life now, you realized as Papyrus and Frisk made an attempt at straightening your shelves.

You were okay with this.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Want more? Don't worry your head! There will be a sequel, which I will link here when the first chapter is up. The chapters will be around 1-2k each, and it'll be updated with about the same consistency as this fic.


	7. SEQUEL IS POSTED

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Get hyped, there's a sequel now!

You can read the sequel [HERE!!!](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7249780/chapters/16460722)! Go go go! It picks up pretty much right where this one left off.

Also, I'd like to take this time to thank all of you for you kudos, bookmarks, comments, and support. I couldn't have done it without you guys! <3


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